The Misfit Show
by Red Witch
Summary: For those of you in Misfit withdrawal...


**The disclaimer saying I don't own anything has gone off to get a reality show of it's own. Here's a little something before I start the next big Misfit fic! Just a little treat for you fans! Enjoy! **

**The Misfit Show**

"Hello everybody and welcome to the Misfit Show!" Todd waved. They were in a studio with a talk show set. "I'm your host Todd 'Toad' Tolensky!"

"And I'm Althea 'Wavedancer' Delgado," Althea said.

"We thought we'd give our fans an extra special treat for their loyalty," Todd said. "A little show highlighting the humorous side of the Misfitverse before the final story!"

"Final my butt," Althea groaned. "Unless someone puts a stake through her heart it's not gonna be final **anything!"**

"We can dream can't we?" Todd sighed. "Anyway prepare for a star studded show full of your old favorites, some great guest stars and surprises! Like if anyone actually reads this stupid fic for one."

"Okay first we're going to start off with the good stuff and introduce a new character," Althea said. "She's already made a major appearance in that new Wolverine cartoon overseas and now joining the Misfitverse, here's Domino!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE ALBINO CREEP!" A woman with black hair, a black spot on her face and wearing black leathers stormed in. "God! And I thought the Quicksilver in the **other** universe was annoying!"

"Great for you to show up today," Althea said.

"Maybe for you," Domino grumbled as she sat down. "Your version of Blob at all the food in my trailer and that weird Xi thing was trying on my lipstick!"

"Oh boy…" Althea winced.

"And don't get me **started** on Pyro, his theory about pineapple world domination and the fire he set in the hallway!" Domino grumbled.

"Sorry about that," Todd said. "So tell us more about yourself. For this fic anyway."

"Well the audience learns I've actually have ties to Xavier and Wolverine previous to the Misfitverse storyline," Domino explained. "In fact I once worked for SHIELD alongside Wolverine. But we didn't exactly get along."

"Me too! Boy it's a small world isn't it?" A character in a red and black costume walked onto the set. "_It's a small world after all_…Everybody sing!"

"Deadpool! What are **you** doing here?" Todd asked.

"I don't know really," Deadpool plopped down. "I was bored."

"Looks like Red's imagination has gotten out of control again," Althea groaned.

"I don't know why you didn't interview me," Deadpool said. "I play an important part in this fic too! In fact a major secret is about to be revealed! Are you ready world? Are you sure? Are you really sure? Are you really, really, really sure?"

"Get on with it!" Domino yelled.

"It is revealed that I…Deadpool…Am Scott Summer's _SAMBA TEACHER_!" He leapt up on the couch with a pair of maracas and started dancing around. "ARRRREEBBA!"

"I knew it," Althea groaned.

"I don't **want** to know where he was hiding those maracas," Todd blanched.

"What I want to know is why are we here if this is the **Misfits **show?" Jean asked as the X-Men watched the chaos to the side.

"Because the Misfits **live** to make our lives insane," Scott groaned.

"And turn and kick and turn and kick and cha cha cha!" Deadpool danced around.

"Is it **always** like this?" Domino asked.

"Have you **read** any Red Witch fics?" Todd asked. "If you did you wouldn't ask such a stupid question."

"This is pretty tame compared to some of the other stuff she's done," Pietro cackled as he watched from the sidelines.

"Listen Red, if you want to cut my scenes or something I have no problem with that!" Domino yelled. "I'm serious here! You can even kill me off if you like!"

"Aw come on Domy! Give me a hug!" Deadpool grabbed Domino.

"GET OFF ME YOU CREEP!" Domino knocked the merc with a mouth down. "THAT'S IT! I QUIT! THERE IS NO WAY I AM GOING TO BE IN THIS FIC!"

"Like you have a choice," Althea rolled her eyes.

"Nobody told me I had to work with idiots of this caliber!" Domino whipped out a gun. "So I might as well use a weapon of **this caliber!"**

"DUCK!" Pietro screamed.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

"Missed me! Missed me! Now you got to kiss me!" Deadpool laughed as he ran around like a demented maniac. Which he was.

"Kiss lasers you…" Domino yelled as she shot at him.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!"

"There goes a few more holes in the wall," Fred blinked.

"Good, they'll match the holes in **your head!"** Domino screamed as she kept firing as she chased after Deadpool.

BANG!

"AAAAHHH! I'M HIT! I'M HIT!"

"She just shot somebody!" Kitty yelled.

"It's okay, it's just a writer," Pyro said looking at some random guy on the floor. "This station is full of 'em."

"Oh," Kitty blinked. "Too bad she got the **wrong writer!** Well get him out of here! He's bleeding all over the floor!"

"Oh you guys are _real sympathetic!"_ The writer groaned. "I'm calling my union! We're going on strike again!"

"I'm getting out of here!" Domino screamed as she was chased out by Rogue and the GI Joes. "You'll never take me alive!"

"Funny, that's what all those other psychiatrists we went to said before they disappeared," Fred remarked casually.

"Okay that segment was a wash out," Althea said. "So let's move this nightmare along."

"Right now we're going to count down the top five Misfit Themed Episodes!" Todd said brightly. "Is your favorite among them?"

"Odds are probably not because Red Witch was lazy and on an ego trip," Althea grunted. "So instead of asking the viewers what they liked she decided to give us a list of her own favorites! The ones she enjoyed tormenting us the most!"

"And considering the number of fics she's written that's no small accomplishment," Todd grumbled. "Okay for Number Five we have a tie! The smash hit parodies The Not So Thin Mutant and The Mostly Mutant Women!"

"Figures she'd pick the ones where she didn't have to think up a plot," Althea grumbled.

"Yeah but you gotta admit anything with Pietro in a dress and him getting beat up by Rogue can't be all bad," Todd said.

BLAM!

"Is Domino still shooting at Deadpool?" Althea asked.

"Yeah and he's shooting **back!**" Angelica was heard shouting.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Someone fell from the ceiling and crashed onto the floor.

"Sorry! My bad!" Deadpool was heard yelling before more shots were heard.

"Will someone stop those two before someone gets killed?" Todd yelled. Then he and Althea checked the body. "Correction, before **someone else** gets killed!"

"Oh great she's dead," Althea grumbled. "Who is it anyway?"

"Remember Ms. March from My Big Fat Mutant Birthday Party and a few other fics?" Pietro walked onstage with Fred. "That's her. Or that _was_ her."

"Oh then no big loss," Todd said.

"Toad! Don't make comments like that! We could get fined!" Althea said.

"Fine! Okay kids, killing people is wrong even if they are horrible witches that make life miserable for everyone," Pietro said. "Got it? Do not kill people. There's even a commandment about that so I think I've made my point and most of you out there know that."

"Ms. March however was **not** really a person," Fred added. "Just a made up character in a made up series of stories. So because she wasn't real it's okay to kill her."

"There's a court in Japan that might argue that," Althea said. "But that's another topic for another day."

"She was a minor character nobody liked," Pietro said. "In fact she was a hateful shrew!"

"I know but again there's a mess on the floor and…" Althea shrugged. "Hey! Quicksilver, Blob take over the list a minute will ya? While we deal with this."

"I guess this means this is another character that's just gonna disappear isn't it?" Todd asked as they picked up the body and carried it away.

"What do you think?" Althea asked. "Take it away guys!"

"I thought they were taking away the body?" Fred asked Pietro.

"Just get on with it Blob," Pietro sighed.

"Okay. Number Four was one of my personal favorites as well," Fred told the audience. "My Dinner With Nightcrawler! A fun romp full of secrets, scandals, romance, misunderstandings…"

"And **food?**" Pietro asked.

"Especially the food," Fred's mouth was drooling. "I tell ya, the Stregga Rossa has some of the best antipasto I ever tasted! I'm hungry! I wonder what's in the fridge?" He went off to find some food.

"He's got a real strong work ethic doesn't he folks?" Pietro rolled his eyes. "Well while I've got the floor why don't we talk about something important? This year was one of the most important elections of our time! It proved to the world that America is ready for a change and new hope for justice and democracy!"

Suddenly American flags were lowered as well as several pictures of Pietro in poses. "So in keeping with that theme, vote for Quicksilver as Handsomest Man Alive! Come on, George Clooney's had that position for far too long! You deserve a candidate that's dashing! Intelligent! Handsome! Provocative! Handsome! A snappy dresser! Not to mention handsome…"

"Wanda…" Lance groaned off stage.

"Got it!" Immediately Pietro was hexed into a wall by his sister. "There are some things that **never** change!"

"Thanks a lot you guys!" Todd and Althea walked back in. "Way to cover us! Boy I bet Regis and Kelly don't have to put up with this!"

"Let's go to Number Three shall we?" Althea said. "Number Three was a ton of fun! Literally. It's An Avalanche of Avalanches!"

"GET THESE GUYS AWAY FROM ME!" Kitty ran by.

"KITTY!" A herd of little Lances ran after her. "KITTY! KITTY! KITTY!"

"KITTY! KITTY! KITTY!" An equal number of tiny Baby Colossus ran by. (Or is that Colossi? I never know!)

"Let me guess, Mojo dropped them off because he couldn't take them huh?" Althea asked.

"For a short while," Scott and Jean staggered in. "And he also made the mistake of cloning a few other characters."

"You don't mean…?" Althea's eyes widened.

"I'm afraid so," Jean sighed.

"Mojo didn't!" Todd gasped.

"KITTY! KITTY! GET AWAY FROM OUR KITTY!" A herd of Baby Pete Wisdoms ran by them.

"He did," Scott said.

"You think he would have learned his lesson by now?" Althea said.

"He wanted to make some enforcers but this is what he got," Scott said.

"SOMEBODY GET THESE BRATS OFF OF ME!" Logan ran by trying to get Baby Wolverine and Baby X-23 off of his back.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Both of them chanted.

"Wow, and we thought **one** Wolverine clone was bad enough," Todd said. "Why do they want to kill him?"

"Something about merchandising deals," Jean shrugged. "Who knows?"

"AAAHHH!" Kitty ran by.

"KITTY! KITTY! WE WANT KITTY!" The pack of mixed baby mutant clones followed her.

"All right we've got them now!" Remy ran after the group with Shipwreck, Ororo, Ray, Tabitha and Bobby. "Come back here you little…"

"Uh Gambit remember what happened the **last time** you tried that?" Althea called out.

"AAAH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE…" Remy screamed off camera. "NOT MY PANTS! OWWW! NOT AGAIN!"

"Looks like he's being reminded," Todd said.

"Yeah but this time I've got a camera!" Rogue grinned as a shot of her offstage was shown.

"YOU LITTLE PERVERTS!" A naked Remy ran away from a smaller group of baby mutant clones.

"Let me take a guess, you paid them to do that didn't you Rogue?" Jean sighed.

"Maybe," Rogue smiled. "Excuse me!" She chased after the group. Sound of crashing and smashing and yelling could be heard.

"BREAK OUT THE KNOCKOUT GAS! WE GOT 'EM CORNERED!" Shipwreck whooped. The sound of canisters going off and more things breaking was heard.

"I think I miss the gunfight," Jean groaned.

"It's gonna be a while before we can round them all up. Can we go to commercial or something for a few minutes?" Scott sighed.

"I'd love to but this is one shot so we're gonna do something else for a bit," Althea sighed. "Okay how about an exclusive clip into the next Misfit fic? Roll it!"

"Uh we can't," Todd gulped nervously.

"Why?" Althea glared at him.

"Because Red hasn't exactly written it yet," Todd said with a big smile.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE HASN'T WRITTEN IT YET? WHAT THE HELL HAS SHE BEEN DOING THESE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS?" Althea yelled.

"Well to be fair Sweetie Pie, she has been writing a lot of other fics," Todd nervously played with her fingers. "She doesn't want to be known as a one trick pony, ya know? There's all those Galaxy Ranger fics, the GI Joe ones. The regular Evolution fics and some new stuff. And her personal life has had a turn or two. Her mom got skin cancer and threw her back out and…"

"She's been shopping, drinking coffee and zoning out on video games hasn't she?" Althea growled.

"To be fair Wii Fit isn't exactly a game you can zone out on but otherwise that's pretty much it," Todd nodded.

"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Althea yelled.

"Don't worry My Little Mermaid, I got a solution!" Todd said. "See some of us are gonna act out a scene right here right now! It's a real dramatic one! Where Cyclops confronts the Phoenix! After of course the Phoenix takes over Jean's body."

"Oh great Toad! You just gave away a major plot!" Fred called out offstage.

"Like no one knew **that** was going to happen?" Althea rolled her eyes. "Let's just do it!"

"And now the Misfit Players present a dramatic enactment of a re-enactment of something that hasn't happened yet," Todd said cheerfully. "The confrontation between Cyclops and Phoenix! Playing the role of Cyclops is our very own Avalanche…"

"Ta da!" Lance strutted in wearing Scott's glasses. "It's me! Son of Dorken-stein!"

"So **that's** where my spare pair of glasses went," Scott grumbled.

"Who did you get to play the Phoenix? Angelica?" Jean groaned.

"That would be hot!" Pyro wolf whistled.

"We thought about that but then we decided to go into a different direction," Todd coughed.

"Just **how different** a direction are we talking about?" Jean gave him a look.

"Uh let's start with the scene shall we?" Todd said nervously.

"This is not going to be good is it?" Jean asked.

"Is it _ever?"_ Scott groaned.

"Jean! Jean! JEEEAAAAN!" Lance said dramatically. "Jean my love! Come to me! Where are you? I can't see a thing in these glasses!"

"Scott Summers! The Phoenix has heard your cry!" Xi sashayed out wearing a red Phoenix costume and a red wig. "I am here!"

"Oh you have got to be **kidding** me!?" Jean yelled.

"Jean! My love! Come back to me!" Lance spread out his arms. "I can't live without you! I don't know how to do anything but run Danger Room programs! I don't know how to do laundry or program the VCR or anything!"

"There is no more Jean! There is only Phoenix!" Xi said dramatically. "I've changed my name to one word like a spoiled pop star! In fact that's going to be my new career! And if people don't buy my albums then I'll blow up the planet! Ha ha ha ha!"

"Jean come back to me!" Lance whined. "I'm a loser that can't survive outside of a passive aggressive relationship! I can't make decisions for myself! Come back!"

"Scott get a life," Xi said. "I've had my fun with you and I'm bored. I'm going out with Wolverine now. No wait, he might try and kill me with his claws and healing factor. Forget him! I know! I'll go on a reality show and force men to compete in degrading and humiliating contests on national television for me!"

"When I do go insane and try to kill all of you can you **blame me?"** Jean shouted.

"To be honest not really," Scott sighed. "Maybe I should **help** you?"

"Good idea!" Jean nodded. "Let's get 'em!"

"Uh oh," Xi gulped as he barely dodged Scott's optic blast. Then he was tackled by an irate Jean. "AAAAAHHH!" Scott then tackled Lance and the two of them began wrestling each other on the floor.

"I think we'd better get back to the list," Todd winced at the chaos. "We were up to the last ones weren't we?"

"That we were, Todd! Number Two is a tie also," Althea said. "First one combines two of Red's passions: Wolverine torture and unicorns. It's I've Put A Spell On You! And to celebrate we have two very special guests! Doctor Strange and Benny Barumpbump!"

"Hey everybody!" Benny Barumpbump, a plump curly haired man with thick glasses and a nerdish shirt and pants walked in. He was followed by a slightly haggard Doctor Strange. "We just flew in from the Fourth Dimension and boy…"

"If you say 'our arms are tired' for the **five hundredth** time I will personally turn you into an eye of newt and use you in my next spell," Doctor Strange gave him a look.

"So what's new with you guys?" Todd asked.

"About a thousand new holes in my home…" Doctor Strange grumbled.

"I understand that you guys also play a part in this fic?" Althea asked.

"Admittedly you'll see a little more of me than the Doc here," Benny said. "I have a great big fight scene with all sorts of magic! I even have a clip. Roll it!"

There was a shot of Logan being turned into a unicorn. "Whoops, wrong clip," Benny blinked.

"I'D FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT THAT!" Logan burst on stage. "YOU LITTLE…"

SNIKT!

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Benny screamed as Logan chased him with his claws out.

"COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE…." Logan screamed.

"Okay so much for that," Althea said. "Anything else you want to say Doctor Strange?"

"Yes one more thing, I believe we discussed a fee for my participation in this show," Doctor Strange took out some money. "Here it is."

"You **paid **to get on this?" Rogue asked as Doctor Strange paid Althea.

"No, I paid for the Misfits to arrange for Wolverine to be here," Doctor Strange explained. "And to show the wrong clip."

"What did Benny do now?" Althea asked.

"Don't ask," Doctor Strange groaned. "Let's just say the Nexus is going to be filled with cotton candy for centuries!"

"I think it's a good time for us to go to the other fic that made it to the Number Two slot," Althea said. "And to meet our other guest that starred in this fic! It's the special guest star of Date With A Vampire! Here he is, fresh from his Halloween Tour! Dracula!"

A bat flew in and then changed into a dapper young man that had a strange resemblance to George Hamilton. "Hello everyone!"

"So Dracula, what's new with you?" Todd asked. "How's your servant doing? The guy who likes to eat bugs?"

"Reinfield? He's fine," Dracula waved. "He's got a cookbook out. Cooking With Cockroaches. You'd be surprised how well it's selling."

"Ooh! I gotta get a copy," Todd grinned.

"I'll have him send you an autographed copy," Dracula said.

"And how's Cindy your wife?" Althea asked.

"Very well. She's written a new self help book for vampires," Dracula said. "It's called, Just Because You're Dead, Doesn't Mean You Can't Live."

"Catchy title," Althea said.

"It talks about all the social issues the modern vampire faces today. How to make you coffin more comfortable. Places where you can vacation where it's dark six months out of the year and all the night life that goes on. Guilt free non human blood recipes so a vampire can socialize without snacking on new friends," Dracula said.

"That's good to know," Althea said.

"I also want to tell the viewers that my wife and I are promoting our new reality show," Dracula said. "It shows the lives of a modern vampire couple trying to cope in LA. We were going to call it Dead and Loving it but Leslie Nielsen already took that title. But whatever it's called it's going to be on the E! Network because they'll put anything on! I mean they gave Denise Richards a second season so I know we've got a shot!"

"AAAAHHHH!" Benny ran by being chased by Logan again.

"You know I could put you in touch with my apprentice's agent," Doctor Strange mused. "Would you consider having him?"

"AAAHHHHHH!" Benny ran by again followed by Logan. And Baby Wolverine and Baby X-23.

"As a guest star?" Dracula asked.

"Guest star, appetizer, it's up to you," Doctor Strange remarked.

"AAAKKK!" The sound of someone gagging offstage was heard.

"Oh come on the joke wasn't **that** bad!" Doctor Strange said.

THUD!

"Grandfather!" Someone yelled.

"Oh great! Now what?" Althea ran off stage with Todd. "Okay of all the stuff I've seen this is one of the weirdest!"

"He's dead!" Danielle was sobbing over a clown wearing a tutu. Who also had a huge wedge of cake in his mouth. "My grandfather is dead!"

"What is this? A running gag?" Todd asked.

"AAAAHHHHH!" Benny ran by with Logan still chasing him.

"No, I believe **that** is a running gag," Doctor Strange grinned.

"So what's the deal here?" Todd asked. Many of the characters were standing around the body. "McCoy?"

"He's dead Jim, I mean Toad," Hank looked at the body. "Really dead…"

"Your grandfather was a clown?" Althea blinked.

"No, he just liked to dress up as one," Danielle explained. "He had a fascination with them ever since he was a kid. Don't ask."

"If it's anything like my cousins I won't," Fred remarked. "Great just what we need. Another dead body."

"Oh God, he didn't eat anything Kitty made did he?" Wanda gasped.

"No, he was a diabetic," Danielle sighed. She yelled at the corpse. "I TOLD YOU TO STICK TO YOUR DIET! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU EAT NOTHING BUT CAKE AND COTTON CANDY YOU JERK!"

"You should have told him to buy his clothes where the designer label wasn't Big Top Boutique," Pietro said.

"See kids, this is what happens to you if you don't pay attention to your diet," Pyro said. "I know it sucks not to eat sugar but it sucks even more being six feet under."

"Not half as much as being buried in that outfit," Pietro blinked.

"How are we gonna explain this?" Althea asked pointing to the body. "Wasn't there supposed to be a few scenes with him and Danielle or something?"

"Uh why don't we just say Pierce and the Reavers killed him before the fic and leave it at that?" Wanda suggested.

"That I can deal with," Danielle sighed. "Fine we'll do it."

"Wow this is the first clip show I ever saw that had a body count," Pyro blinked.

"Uh excuse me," Dracula stuck his head in. "I don't want to intrude but if you're not doing anything with the grandfather's body…I mean, he's **already** dead so technically there's no harm if I just take a little sip."

"GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU VULTURE!" Danielle started wailing on Dracula. Dracula turned into a bat and flew out of reach.

"Oh come on! A vampire's gotta eat!" Dracula whined.

"Why don't you eat Ms. March?" Todd suggested.

"And get indigestion? I have standards!" Dracula snorted.

"How about the writer?" Todd asked.

"I'M STILL ALIVE!" The writer shrieked in back.

"NOT FOR LONG IF SOMEONE PAYS ME ENOUGH!" Deadpool shouted.

"SHUT UP DEADPOOL!" Rogue shouted.

"Can we get back to the list now?" Todd sighed.

"Good idea," Althea said. "Our number one episode was My Big Fat Mutant Birthday Party!"

"We were gonna have Ms. March as a special guest but that backfired big time," Todd said.

"Depends on your point of view," Rogue said. "I kind of liked that fic too."

"How could you like that fic? It was a total disaster!" Kitty asked.

"Yeah but I got a motorcycle out of it," Rogue said. "Plus Jean got drunk."

"Oh yeah, that was funny," Kitty snickered.

"And so is **that,**" Bobby pointed.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Jean was on top of Lance beating the crap out of him.

"AAAAAHHH! STOP HUGGING ME!" Scott screamed as Xi held onto him for dear life.

"AAAAHHH!" Remy ran by still naked. He was being chased by Trinity.

"And of course **that** never gets old," Althea remarked.

"SHIPWRECK!" Ororo was heard screaming. "GET YOUR HAND OFF OF MY…"

ZAP!

"YEOW!" Shipwreck yelled. "Not the lightning! Not the lightning!"

"Had to throw in that Stormwreck moment huh?" Rogue asked.

"Pretty much a given. Well that's our show," Althea said. "I hope this little show gave all you readers out there a taste of what we Misfits are all about."

"AAAAAAHHH!" Remy ran by again being chased by Trinity, Madelyne, and Spyder.

"Oh no! Here they come again!" Kitty yelled and ran off.

"KITTY! KITTY! KITTY!" The baby clones ran after her.

"Can't we talk about this?" Benny ran for his life.

"YOU DID IT TO ME AGAIN!" Logan shouted. He had turned into a large black unicorn with metal hooves and a metal horn. "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"Save some for the rest of us!" Three smaller black metal horned unicorns followed, obviously the X-23s and Baby Wolverine.

"Not the hail! Not the hail!" Shipwreck was being chased by Ororo and a large hailstorm.

"CALL THE COPS! SOME COSTUMED NUTS ARE HAVING A GUNFIGHT IN THE CAFETERIA!" Someone shouted.

"I HAVE TO PAY **HOW MUCH** FOR DAMAGES?" Xavier was heard yelling as Jean and Scott fought with Lance and Xi.

"Yeah I think this bit pretty much comes up to our **usual **standards," Todd groaned. "Good night everybody!"


End file.
